


love my way.

by commonemergency



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Romance, hurt/comfort if you squint, they get stuck in a lift
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-18 12:29:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13681701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/commonemergency/pseuds/commonemergency
Summary: “I really don’t want to spend the night here.” Dan has to get up too. He needs to stretch his legs, but he’s reminded again just how small the space is and how he can only pace just a tiny bit before he has to turn around again.Or the one where Dan and Phil are stuck in a lift on Valentine's Day.





	love my way.

**Author's Note:**

> somewhere, there are two other alternate versions to this story but you get this one. happy vday. 
> 
> big thanks to ale, **@aestheticale** for being my beta and for listening to me freak out about this story, and for telling me that it was good enough.

Sometimes there are fights that stretch for days. Dan doesn’t really call it fighting, just a disagreement that lingers a little bit longer than expected. It gets put away at the door because of their radio show. Dan and Phil can pretend for a couple of hours that it doesn’t exist, and push each other’s buttons over a seven second challenge, and Dan will play that song that he knows will annoy Phil when he inevitably wins. It’s Valentine’s Day and they never really have anything elaborate planned. Dan isn’t particularly feeling the love today. 

Last night they had sat down at their table and planned the games they’d make their listener’s play for a love song of their choice and the results had been a success. It was nearing the end of their time slot. Dan had bounced his head to the beat of the song while Phil looked over the Valentine’s Day Fails since they had been sent so many of them. Dan had peeked over his shoulder to read a couple and smiled at all the pet one’s. He knew that Phil would enjoy those. Dan handed Phil his headphones now and he didn’t seem to acknowledge it.

When the song ended Dan was all smiles again, “And that was Crazy Little Thing Called Love by Queen. How do you feel Phil about all of these Valentines Day fails? Is there a particular one that sticks out to you?” 

Phil had looked back at Dan with a smile and nodded, “You know what Dan, I have to say the dog eating the engagement ring has to be the most memorable one.” 

Dan laughed, “That seemed to be a theme in a lot of the fails--” he had looked at the clock and they had about a minute left. “So if you sent us a Valentine’s Day Fail, we appreciate your stories, and we hope you have a great rest of the night. You’ve been listening to Dan and Phil on BBC Radio 1. Huw Stephens is up next, and to close us out I picked Love My Way by the Psychedelic Furs.” The song began to play and Dan and Phil waved goodbye. 

When the headphones come off and the cameras are gone it’s just Dan and Phil Who Had an Argument and Don’t Want to Apologize Just Yet. Dan walks a little bit ahead of Phil and he’s on his phone because it’s his security blanket when he can’t be with Phil. They had gotten an email about homemade snacks for the DJ’s, Dan had claimed it was another tactic for socializing but it always seemed to work -- when there was food there was a Dan and Phil. 

The break room was decorated in Valentines Day apparel, banners, and lots of red and pink themed plates and cups. Dan didn’t understand the need for the decorations but he wasn’t going to complain if someone enjoyed the holiday. He looked back at Phil who seemed to have zeroed in on the sweets. There was a bowl of heart shaped candy and small little goodie bags of promised homemade biscuits. It had been a long time since Dan had a homemade biscuit, his grandmum used to make them all the time for him and sent them over the mail. He reached for two, for him and Phil and said hello to some of the DJ’s and broadcast assistants. They knew some of them but not all of them. 

Dan didn’t sleep well and it was starting to catch up to him, he felt like he was dragging his feet. He was tempted to eat the sweets now but he wanted to wait. He watched as Phil was in deep conversation with Molly, Dan didn’t want to go up to them because he didn’t know what to say and he wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone. He stuffed more heart shaped candy into his goodie bag and waited by the door. 

“You lads have plans?” Tom was one of their broadcast assistance, he was holding a cup of something red but he wasn’t sure if it was wine or not. Dan had shook his head. “I mean I don’t know about Phil but I plan on ordering a pizza.” 

Being ambiguous was part of their relationship to the outside world, Dan and Phil had been burned too many times from people on the outside to trust just anybody, even if it was people they worked with. Dan would always protect Phil, and he knew that Phil would do the same for him. Tom didn’t bat an eyelash and shrugged, placing a hand on Dan’s shoulder as he walked out of the room. 

When he looked back at Phil it looked like he was saying bye, he knew all the indicators Phil did when was about to leave. He got more personal with them, placing a hand somewhere safe and giving them a decent hug and a polite, “ _See you later._ ” It was nice to know that Dan knew him as much as he thought he did, because Phil was walking towards Dan. 

They didn’t talk to each other but understood that they wanted to leave. 

They waited for the lift in silence. The herd of people they usually ended up leaving with was at the party and they were the only two standing in the hall. When the doors open they silently stepped in and Phil presses the ground button. Dan stares at the silver doors and Phil looks at the goodie bag, and then they hear the lift stop and make a noise that doesn’t sound good. Dan holds onto the rail, and his heart is beating fast and he looks over at Phil. 

“What the fuck?” Dan whispered, he reached over to the open door button. Nothing happened. 

Phil had gotten closer and pressed the button like he had the magical touch. Dan tried not to roll his eyes, but he was panicking a little.

“I think we’re stuck.” Phil said with a sigh as he pressed the call button. _Nothing_. 

“Try it again.” Dan had sighed. 

Phil pressed the button and they both waited to hear something but no ringing, no acknowledgment that there was a human on the other line. Dan bit his bottom lip and gulped. 

“Bang on the doors?” Dan had put his stuff on the ground and they started to bang on the door together yelling, “ _Hello!_ ” 

Dan pressed his forehead against the cool of the doors before pressing the call button again. 

“Hello?” Someone on the other line said. Dan snapped his head up and squatted to get on level with the call button’s speakers. “Hi, this is Dan and Phil, we’re stuck in the lift.” 

The lady on the other line said they’d call maintenance but that it’d be a while considering how late it was. Dan and Phil looked at each other again, both worn out from the day. 

Dan had tried to pry open the door but it didn’t help. He wasn’t strong enough. Phil had resigned to sitting on the floor and opening the pack of candy and biscuits from the party. Dan wanted to make a comment, wondering how Phil could eat in a time like this, but they weren’t really talking to each other unless it was forced by work. 

So, Dan paced. He paced in the small amount of room that the lift gave them, and he tried to calm himself down. He didn’t realise how claustrophobic he felt now that he was trapped here. 

“Dan, sit.” Phil said while he chewed his biscuit, the crumbs falling on his shirt. 

“Don’t want to.” Dan huffed. Sometimes Dan just wanted to be mad about things. He wanted Phil to feel the anger that he felt even if it didn’t help anyone. 

Phil watched as Dan went back and forth, turning on his heel, and when he got close enough Phil reached out to grab his hand. “Please. Sit.” 

Dan had looked at the doors, like they’d magically open before giving up on that hope. He slid down the wall opposite of Phil and he stared at the camera that was in the corner wondering if there was someone there watching them. Someone was always watching them, but he tried not to dwell on that. He didn’t need that extra thought crowding his brain right now, there wasn’t enough space for it. 

“Thank you.” Phil said with a small smile, but it didn’t catch his eye. In fact, he avoided all eye contact with Dan period. 

Dan found himself chewing on the skin around his thumb. It was a bad habit that he found himself doing when he didn’t know what to do with himself. If he couldn’t pace then he could chew on his nail and the skin around his thumb. 

It was getting hot or it was his anxiety, he couldn’t quite differentiate it right now. He took his jacket off and placed it on his lap and ran his hands up and down his arms to give himself some comfort. He looked at the camera again and then back at Phil. 

“How long do you think we’ll be in here?” Phil wondered, he looked down at his shirt and finally noticed the crumbs and wiped them off. 

“Dunno. An hour. Maybe more than that.” Dan shrugged. 

Phil looked up at Dan this time, and Dan didn’t look away like he normally did when they’re fighting. Except this wasn’t really a fight. They were both at a standstill, whether it was forced because of the lift being stuck or something else, they were at a standstill, and Dan didn’t know who was going to make that first move. 

“Are we not going to talk for an hour?” Phil’s voice didn’t hold any malice or annoyance, it threw Dan off for a moment. Phil was feeling it too. They had been together for too long to hold a grudge against each other. It was the problem when they were each other’s best friends and lovers. When Dan needed space he would leave his phone and not even tell Phil where he was going, and if Phil needed space he hibernated in his room and didn’t come out until he was good and ready. It made for complications of Dan being gone, and Phil being unavailable. 

They didn’t see each other in the past couple of days but Dan was constantly worried. He was worried that maybe Phil saw right through him, that maybe it wasn’t worth it, that he was bored, tired of waiting for someone to come back to apologize because some days he couldn’t deal. It wasn’t an excuse -- it didn’t make it right. 

Dan felt like a kid who had done something wrong and instead of being punished he was given grace. Dan pressed his palms on his knees and felt the familiar fabric as he did a rubbing motion. His palms were sweaty, his hair was starting to curl and he was losing this battle of being angry over something that didn’t even matter in the long run. 

Dan smiles briefly. “Why, do you miss my voice?” 

Phil rolls his eyes and kicks him with his foot. “I do. A little bit.”

Dan took a deep breath, trying to forget the fact that they were having this conversation _in a fucking lift._

“I’m… I’m sorry. For all the things I said in the heat of the moment,” Dan said with a small sigh, “I’m sorry for walking out like I normally do when I’m frustrated… And I’m sorry for not. Letting you in, when I should.” 

He wondered if it would always be the problem. If one day holding in everything that he was feeling was going to be the demise of Dan and Phil. He hated how he kept himself so locked up when it came to things that bothered him, hated how he couldn’t let go of his pride and let Phil in and discuss them like adults. It was times like that where Dan had thought maybe Phil was better for someone else, someone who didn’t clam up, was more confident in themselves and didn’t worry about what people would think.

“Dan, it’s not completely your fault.” Phil twiddled his thumbs, but his eyes stayed on Dan. “I’m not good at letting you in all the way either. I think I’m right when I’m not. I don’t trust you when I should.” 

In the beginning when their relationship was new things like this often slid under the rug, but that was dangerous. Once you start hiding things the more it festers. Dan and Phil were a work in progress and that was okay. 

“I’m sorry.” Dan said again with a small smile. 

“I’m sorry, too.” Phil had tapped Dan’s foot with his own. 

“Pretty shite Valentine’s Day, yeah?” Dan had to laugh, this day was never the kindest to them, although they didn’t really hold the day in high regard like most couples did. The past couple of years it had been spent on their couch watching something they both liked and enjoyed anyway. They couldn’t do even that now. 

“I mean, being stuck in a lift is not ideal for any occasion.” 

“I guess not.” Dan shook his head with a smile. 

“We don’t really celebrate it anyway.” Phil says with a shrug. Dan smiles briefly. That was right. It was a holiday they didn’t love or hate. It just existed, like many other holidays in their lives. It was a nice community feeling but it wasn’t something that they particularly looked forward to all things considered. 

Sometimes it was nice to dress fancy and go somewhere for dinner, but it was also nice to be able to be in your pyjamas with pizza and someone you love right beside you. 

“Do you ever want to?” Dan asks, he’s thinking about Tom now and what he said earlier. It was hard not to think about it sometimes.

“Maybe in the beginning. I mean. You were my first.” Phil looks through his heart shaped candy, putting one in his mouth to suck on. 

Dan smiles sadly. Phil wasn’t his first Valentine, but he was his last Valentine, and that had to count for something. 

“I think there’s pressure to be those kind of people. It doesn’t invalidate what we have if we don’t go out and have a nice dinner and buy each other nice things on this _specific_ day.” Phil continued on, grabbing another pink heart shaped candy and handing it to Dan. 

_Love You._

Dan smiles and sucks on it. 

“I just feel like I could give you more.” Dan sighs, thinking that would always be his own problem. He wanted to give Phil more than he could offer, Dan felt like he was always trying to make up for something. Maybe for all those years of figuring himself out, and sometimes hurting Phil in the process of that. It wasn’t fair to Phil, but he didn’t understand that’s just what happens when you love someone, you don’t mean to hurt them, but you do. 

Phil doesn’t say anything, but hands him another heart shaped candy. 

_REAL._

Dan sticks it in his mouth, looking back at Phil. 

“I don’t want more. Just you.” Dan would have rolled his eyes at Phil, but it was exactly what he needed to hear. 

“I believe you.” Dan nudges Phil’s foot with his own. 

*

“I’m so hot. I’m sweating and I’m uncomfortable where I’m sweating.” Phil huffs, trying to fan himself with his shirt. “I also ate all of my snacks. What if we’re in here for hours? What are we supposed to eat?” 

Dan wanted to laugh, but he couldn’t. He felt like the walls were closing in but he was trying not to panic. “You can have my sweets Phil.” Dan had handed them to him, if it helped distract him then it was worth giving up the biscuits that he was looking forward to. 

Phil had looked like he was really contemplating it before shaking his head. “Then I’ll be thirsty.” He shoved them away and Dan smiled briefly. When was the last time he had water? 

“We’d be really shit on Man vs. Wild. We can’t handle the lift.” Dan jokes, and it’s enough to make Phil laugh. 

“Do you think they really called for help?” Phil wonders, getting up to press the call button again. There’s no answer on the other line. He breathes out. “It’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine.” He chants to himself, and Dan watches as he sits back down on the floor holding his hand out for Dan to give him a biscuit. 

Dan happily obliges and Phil eats his cookie slowly to savour the flavour and kill some time. 

“I really don’t want to spend the night here.” Dan has to get up too. He needs to stretch his legs, but he’s reminded again just how small the space is and how he can only pace just a tiny bit before he has to turn around again. He places his hand on the doors once more and tries to pry it open regardless everything in him telling him not to do that. He’s not sure what level they’re even stuck on. 

“They’re coming to get us.” Phil says with blind faith, patting the spot next to him. He moves a little bit to give Dan more room. 

Dan slides down next to Phil and they stare at each other. Had it not been for the camera he would have felt more comfortable doing a lot more. 

“Why did you end the show with that song?” Phil asks instead of doing the one thing that he wants to do. 

“We were watching a movie, can’t remember the name of the movie, you said you liked the song because it was something you could see yourself dancing to, and you wanted me to add it to your cleaning playlist. I guess it was just my shoutout to you.” 

Phil blushes and reacts by reaching out to touch Dan’s curls. He never got to see Dan’s hair curly because he straightened it as quick as he could. He wonders if one day his curly hair wouldn’t be such an insecurity. 

“My hair is reaching ultimate frizz levels.” Dan is trying to pat his hair down and Phil shakes his head. 

“I like your curls, Dan. I always have.” But it doesn’t stop him from helping Dan pat his hair down anyway. 

“You know when you feel like you’re on the brink of losing it? That’s where I’m at. I feel the irritation of being in such a closed space. My mild panicking is just…. Increasing at an alarming rate.” 

Phil’s only way to comfort Dan was by physical touch. He had placed a hand on Dan’s knee. “It’ll be okay. Just breathe. When we get home we’re going to get into pyjamas and order a pizza.” Phil had wrapped an arm around Dan’s shoulders now and pulled him closer, although this alone was a lot of body heat between the two and they were both sweating. 

“You’re right.” Dan said, breathing out slowly. “How are you not freaking out though?” 

“I am, but I also know _eventually_ someone will come and get us. If not by maintenance then the fire brigade.” 

Dan takes it if it’s all that he can get. “I’m going to lean on you.” he rests his head against Phil’s shoulders and picked his favourite heart shaped candy sayings out of the bag and gave the sweetest ones to Phil who read them and smiled. 

They passed the time like this: eating the rest of Dan’s heart shaped candy and biscuits and feeling hot and miserable, _and thirsty_. Dan had started to sing a song that he didn’t know the name to but heard a thousand times today thanks to the people who requested it. He thought about that first Valentine’s Day, how hard it was because of the distance, and if Phil really asked for him to come back home how quickly Dan would have searched for flights to make it happen. Young love was scary and terrifying and he didn’t know how they both survived all the ache that came with it, but glad that they had. 

When someone quickly becomes your whole life it’s unsettling and worrying, and the years after the fact were learning how to love each other in a healthier way. Tonight had proven that they were capable of having the kind of conversations that were hard. They both weren’t big on confrontation but it was needed. Regardless of the years that they had been together they were still growing as a couple, and it was nice to have that reminder sometimes that there was still room to grow. 

Dan had fallen asleep for a few brief moments but he kept waking himself up. “Okay. I’m going to try again.” Dan had gotten up from the floor and pressed the call button again. 

“Hi, still Dan and Phil. We’ve been in here for well over an hour, are we getting out anytime soon?” He tried to be polite about it, but he knew that there must have been slight irritation in his voice. _Nothing._

That was the last straw for Phil who got his phone out and dialed 9-9-9. Dan leaned to hear how long the estimated time it would take for them to get here and nearly jumped for joy when they said it was about thirty minutes. 

“We’re getting out of here, Phil.” Dan had never been so amped for anything. Tonight had been an emotional rollercoaster and he was just excited to head home to be with his favourite guy for the rest of this silly holiday and all the times after that. 

*

Dan and Phil were stuck somewhere between floor 3 and 4. There was a latch in the lift that could be opened only one way from the outside. The firemen had opened it and slipped a ladder down for the two to climb up to their nearest floor. It was underwhelming in a lot of ways, but it was an experience they lived through together. There had been a few people from the party waiting for them on the fourth floor with extra snacks to give them as if it was a sorry for being the ones that got stuck. 

Phil gladly took them in his backpack, _he deserved them._

When they walked out to the cool February night Dan could have kissed the ground. He didn’t want to see another lift for a while. The two had walked quietly side by side, a little bit sweaty, a little bit curly, a little bit in love. 

“I mean, I’m glad it was you.” Dan said with a shrug, as they waited for the bus to come. 

“What do you mean?” Phil rose an eyebrow, curious as to what Dan meant. 

“I mean, that out of 7 point billion people I managed to have met you, love you, live with you, chose you, and get stuck in an elevator with you.” 

Phil shook his head a little, nudging into Dan because they were alone, because he can. “I guess you’re pretty lucky then.”

Dan didn’t believe in luck, but he believed in Phil. 

When they got home they took a long shower, taking time and care with each other, scrubbing all of their problems away and watching it go down the drain where it’d remain. Dan hadn’t felt peace in a long time but he was starting to. When they got into bed Dan stared into Phil’s eyes like he was trying to find something that had always been there patiently waiting for him. 

Dan reached out to hold Phil’s face in his hands like it was precious cargo. He spent years loving Phil, he sometimes was scared that from all the loving Phil might have grown worn out over time, but he wasn’t like a teddy bear that you had to sew up after a while. He was this beautiful human being that made him feel like he could do anything because of how much he believed in him. 

Phil had closed the gap between them, maybe because he could read Dan’s mind to know that he was overthinking too much. This was a safe place for them, in the comfort of their own home, surrounded by things that made up each other. Phil’s lips pressed against Dan’s, slow and sweet, it felt intoxicating to Dan who felt deprived of Phil’s touch. 

When Phil pulled away he rested his forehead against Dan’s and they just breathed, and breathed, and breathed. 

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Dan.” Phil whispered. 

Dan had laughed softly, burying his face in Phil’s neck, never wanting to leave.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Phil.”

**Author's Note:**

> comments/kudos appreciated! 
> 
> talk to me on tumblr/twitter: **@nihilismdan.**


End file.
